Bluebird

BLUEBIRD (Colored Pencils) I had a tough week. A part of me is thrilled that it’s over but another part wishes it could go back so I could handle it differently. I’m sorry and ashamed to say that I acted as if the world was out to give me a hard time. I acted as if everything that went wrong was other people’s fault and not mine. Maybe it really wasn’t but also, maybe there’s really nobody to blame and things just don’t always turn out the way I want it to. Either way, the week is over and here I am.

The baby is sleeping. My husband, who also had a full week, is out chilling with friends. It’s past midnight and I’ve decided to see things in a different light. I say a prayer of remorse for having acted so childishly and I choose to see things with a grateful spirit and a hopeful heart. I’ve said so many times how wonderful my life is but when things get tough, my vision blurs and I forget. I realize it’s so not worth it. The troubles of today is not worth losing my joy and excitement for life – even for a second!

I recently read that the bluebird is a symbol of happiness. I really don’t know the full explanation why but the image has kept coming back to me. We don’t have bluebirds flying around here in the city but I imagine I’d be delighted if I suddenly saw one. Beauty seen in an unexpected time, at an unexpected place lifts spirits. I aspire to live my life that way. I want to always see the good and the beautiful and the blessing. So tonight, I’ve started a gratitude journal. Every night, before sleeping, I’ll take a few minutes to look back at my day and write down at least three things that happened or I had encountered for which I’m thankful for. Tonight, I write these three:

1. The pleasure of having good ice cream for dessert (twice!)

2. My mom who sent me a text saying that she got me something and hoped I’d like it

3. Summer woke up an hour into her sleep but instead of staying awake to play (which she has done several times this week), went back to sleep right away.

Maybe you had a tough week like I did or maybe yours was easy and light. No matter how it’s been, it’s good to take a look back and take to heart the many blessings that came our way. Because there always is, no matter how big or how small.